Fanatic
by Freederth
Summary: Hidan wants to spread his Jashinist religion, but a pinkhaired woman will get in theway of his plans. Crackfic. Original Name:Fanático Religioso. Author: Sombrero Loco.


Hidan was walking happily and smiling, while passing by the town of Konoha, with a map inside one of his hands. He was fan of a quite unknown religion which main purpose was to destroy whatever passed berfore the eyes and whose supreme God was Jashin-sama. It wasn't a common day, it was the day of "teach your religion to others"-a day made by Hidan that was quite useful to spread his Jashinst religion- so he was really excited about sharing his rites and knowledge with somebody else of himself, or the mirror. "Yes, this day i'll become prophet and Jashin-sama will be proud of me" he said to himself while contemplating the beautiful blue sky that covered town.

Finnaly, the chose one of the houses, after all, he HAD to start with something. This house hadn't nothing particular but Hidan thought that if he could convince a common person of a common town, he would be able to convince any common thing -and abnormal too.

-Knock knock

…

-Knock knock

…

- Pacience, sir, pacience… knock knock

…

- I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE, OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR NOW DAMNIT, OR I'LL KICK YOUR...!!-

A girl with pink locks and a very scorn gaze towards the man who stood in front of her, opened the door; before Hidan could even finish the sentence. Luckily for him, it seems that the girl didn't hear a single thing about what he was saying.

- What do you want? -she asked harshly.

- Ehem... My name is Hidan.

- Hi Hidan, i'm Sakura

Hidan made a geasture with his hand, Sakura stood still but asked the first question.

- Your face reveales you are a good girl and I think that by heart, but you lack of something and THAT is what I have came to talk about with you today -said Hidan, while thunder was falling behind him.

- Are you messing around with me, right? -Sakura seemed to get upset- Did Ino send you? Answer shit! Ino sent you, right, RIGHT!? Yeah, damn harpy, she wants to see me emaciated like herself but she won't manage to do it...

- Ehm... i don't know what you talking about lady, but..

- I know i'm not as developed as the others, but that doesn't give you the rights to make fun of me, fucking bastard.

- No, no!, it's not like that Sakura, calm down...

- Oh, No?

- No, it's something a lot more important, something that was to do with the spirit, the cosmos, your knowledge related with your soul, wisdom, hell...

Sakura seemed confused.

- I don't understand.

- It's about -drum roll- JASHIN-SAAAAMAAA! -Hidan streched his arm towards heaven when he pronounced the name of his dos, Sakura only began closing the door slowly but the person stoped her.

- Wait! Don't want to know about Jashin-sama?

- Not really -she was still trying to close the door.

- I-If you wanna have a full life then you must be a follower of Jashin-sama... look at me! i'm a loyal fan, you could be just like me one day if you want to.

- NO, THANKS -The battle over the "opening and closing of the door" was getting rougher, Hidan was trying to find some method of convincement if he had time left.

- I'm quite sure you have someone you like...

- And what has that to do with this? Let go of the door!

- No! i mean... Don't you know Jashin-sama was the power to unite people? -what Hidan tried to say, was that she could also make more people to join the religion.

Sakura stopped pushing the door, now she seemed to be interesed.

- How's that?

- It is like this... by the power of darkness, the thunder that lights in the sky and destruction which is cappable of everything, I, Hidan, loyal follower of the Jashinist religion and member of the crimi... eh... nothing... i mean.. Jashin-sama.. this..

- Oh my God! It can't be, it is what i think you are trying to say?

- I don't think you know that i'm trying to say, because in fact, i still haven't invented what i think i'm trying yo say to convince you to join my creed.

- No, no... i undestad perfectly. You are trying to say that Sasuke and I... CAN BE A COUPLE AT LAST!

Now it was Hidan who looked consterned.

- Eh?

-Yes, I think you are telling me that if I join your religion, Sasuke and I can be happy once and for all, KYA! thanks to Jashin it may be that i leave my plan of raping Sasuke while he sleeps a side, because it won't be neccesary anymore.

- I d-don't know what you are talking about exaclty... i haven't mention anything about marriage, neither about rapes!

- You didn't mention it directly but i know you are hiding the secrets and you don't want to tell me.

- What?

- Like i said, you are hiding it... Ahh! You like Sasuke, right? That's why you don't want to get to the point.

- I don't even know who Sasuke is!

- Don't play fool... I know that Ino is involved in this whole thing also, but that's not important now. TELL ME THE SECRETS NOW! i won't lose the opportunity to renounce to the love of Sasuke-kun

- Listen girl... this has nothing to do with that Sasuke guy.

- Sasuke-kun for you, mister preacher -Sakura corrected.

- Yeah, whatever. I'm going, i can't handle you.

- You c-can't leave, no... who are you to do me this? Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

- Stop screaming in my ear!

- Why?

- Why, what?

- Because you asked me why.

- No, I have not asked you why, because i didn't say that.

- Why not?

- Just because.

- What thing because? why don't you ask the reason of the why of the because?

Hidan took a few seconds to analise the phrase the pinkhaired said.

- W-Why don't you just shut up?

-Because. Why don't you tell me why you said because when i asked the reason of the because?

- JUST SHUT IT. DAMNIT!

- ... Why?

- AHHHH! -Hidan took out a kunai of one of his pockets and stuck it in his throat, seconds after he was bleeding to death in the entrance of Sakura's house. She only continued watching as nothing ever happened.

- And the bastard didn't tell me the secrets... Well, i'll have to improve mi plan if i want Sasuke to be mine... jijiji, jejeje, jajaja, MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!... (after seconds of satanical laugher and nose deadly bleeding) AH! I'm sure that Ino was into this whole crap, she'll pay the price tomorrow.

After the last word were spoken, the pinkhaired closed the door with a hit.

Hidan began getting up of the floor and took out the kunai of a pull.

- Why are you doing this to me Jashin-sama, haven't i been a good follower? Whatever.

Hidan took el map the had of Konoha and tore it to pieces, hoping he never would had to go back to that damn Town.


End file.
